Teach Me Love
by Athrna
Summary: This is a piece of Sasuke's thought on all types of love he has experienced. Love can be sweet, daring and soothing; love can hurt, tear you apart and make you insane. What is love and what is hatred? In the end, they go hand in hand together. She was a silly fangirl, but she has blossomed to become the woman he will forever love and hate. One-shot on the canon SasuSaku ending.


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Copyright to Kishimoto Masashi.

A/N: It's the end of _Naruto_. Manga only, but it's a start. Finally, they've got together. Sasuke and Sakura. That took them long enough... so did Naruto and Hinata. I wished there was more development in all their relationships. Instead of just a poke on her forehead, I wished there were more Sasuke's thoughts on their marriage. That was cute though. I approve of the pairings, but I'm not so sure about how that would work out. No preps as usual from Kishimoto. Oh well!

Let's wait for the last movie to come out. We'll see if he's got things sorted there.

Please enjoy this interpretation of canon Sasuke's thoughts on love.

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><p><strong>Teach Me Love<strong>

The more I love, the more I hate.

My conception of love has changed a lot over the years. As a child, I was very much loved. My mother would have given me everything I had ever wanted. She would give me her full support even when I didn't earn it. My father might have neglected me and his attention had been diverted to my older brother, but he cared about me just as much as any father would.

Because of my family's love for me, I had the desire to kill my brother for revenge.

Life is full of ignorance.

I dedicated my later childhood and the majority of my teenage years to kill Itachi.

I did it.

Later I found out it had been all according to his plan. He _wanted_ me to kill him. When I had uncovered what was beneath that mask my brother wore, it was too late.

Once I learned more of the truth, the love I had for my brother only blinded me further. I sought more abhorrence towards the cause of his death as my resolution. Itachi saw death as redemption to atone his own sin and give me power. I didn't feel he deserved any of that pain for what it worth.

Itachi sacrificed himself in the name of peace. What did the world do to him in return? He died in the wretched name of a murderer.

Hatred clouded my mind and anything that blocked me on my way was set to be eliminated.

I told myself friendship was for the useless. I told myself love was for the weak. I threw away my moral conscience and strived for the very top to obtain strength. For ten years of my life, I had successfully hypnotised myself that nothing else mattered more than revenge.

I ignored those who cared for me – for who I was, I am, I will be. They didn't matter to me anymore. I thought they were the reason why I was weak.

Thinking back now, I can only laugh at how wrong I was.

Itachi tried his hardest. It was a shame he didn't manage to drill that message into me. It was another person who did it. Itachi entrusted it to the right person. Your eyes will always see the furthest, brother. You gave them to me and now I see it. You will always have my highest respect.

Even my teacher has given up on me before and I can't blame him. Kakashi had high hopes on me. He knew enough of the truth that he had tried to fulfil Itachi's wishes. What a disappointment I must have been. As a shinobi, I made him proud with my abilities; as a person, I disgusted him with my actions.

Naruto had never given up on me. My brotherly best friend. If it wasn't for him, I don't know where I would be today. He tried to give me unconditional support like my deceased family would. He just wouldn't give up on me, not even when I was facing the world in oddity. An outlaw. He guided me back to the right path and it was not an easy task. I once mocked him, thought lowly of him, and saw nothing but an idiot in him. Now, he is a giant to light up the future ahead. Not just mine, but the world's. The Seventh Hokage. He's done it and I'm happy for him to have his lifelong dream realised.

Of course, twenty years ago, I would have told him straight in his face that he wouldn't make it. He was a Dead Last and he still is one sometimes. Just that he is more sensible, mature and has more life experiences, it doesn't make him less of a dobe. But I won't deny Uzumaki Naruto is the most visionary fool with the farthest sight of the brighter future.

He dreams big and he gets it.

It's all good and well that I have learned love in many forms. Parents and child, brotherly, teacher and student, friendship…

Bonds.

There was one type of love that I was too scared to let myself acknowledge its existence. Even friendship, I had tried to admit it. I had been ignoring this love for the longest. No, I had been ignoring _her_. I tried to deny her presence in my heart.

I had never liked that annoying pinky. I vaguely remember the days when she was a shy girl crying in the playground, thinking no one was looking at her. I saw her. I was curious why she was sobbing to herself and I walked closer to see her. She ran away and cried more. Those were the days when I had had the capability to think straight - the happy days when my world had been normal for a child to grow up in. Now that I really think back, she hadn't always been annoying. She was just a girl who lacked of self confidence.

When did she become really annoying? It was when she insisted she could help me in my revenge.

What did she know? She had a perfect family. What did she know? She was an ordinary girl came from no clan. What did she know? Her life was too beautiful to understand the ugly side of reality.

I was wrong again.

She was a flower waiting to blossom in due time and she was on her course to.

There was no explanation to that. She might have a crush on me, but what she has done have touched me. When someone is as persistent as her, it makes you wonder if all she has on me is nothing more than a silly crush and purely for what she likes seeing in her eyes. It isn't like I've never thought about it. I only tried to pretend I didn't notice it.

I jumped in front her to protect her and then I would curse myself inwardly for being emotionally attached to her.

When she stood up to defend me from the sound genin team in the Chūnin Exam, that was when it clicked. I lost it. I couldn't control my emotions. That overwhelming desire to crush anyone that hurt her consumed me. The foreign feeling had triggered such a powerful sensation in me. My unwanted care for her well being scared me to no end.

When things had settled, I distanced myself from everyone who cared for me, just so I could force myself to not care for them. I started to explore the power beheld in the curse I possessed. I became drunk in power hunger. She then chase after me.

_"Thank you."_

She was not the answer that could lead me to more strength. What I needed was the strength to kill my own brother. A genius manifested once in a generation. He was so powerful that his fearful name was spread wide across the lands.

Over time, I changed to have my heart frozen. I sealed off the sentiment of attachment to anyone I held dear. I became a cold-hearted killer that I was falling into that abyss of no return.

When the time came, she made a decision to kill me for the better. I saw through her plan instantly with my deprived gaze. I couldn't remember what I was thinking; I stopped for a split second. For that moment in time, I wished she would have just done it. She couldn't kill me. She shed tears, showing her weakness. I aimed a chidori through her heart. I was desperate to find my exit out of her bitter love for me.

She suffers nightmares about me, she suffers pain that she had brought upon herself for loving me and she suffers memories of our shared past.

Because she loves me.

Does she?

I tried to kill her, but she wouldn't give up on me. She said we could walk on together.

Could we?

I hated her for loving me. She made me weave in my belief. Without letting her know, I was hiding the fact that she has touched the deepest part of me.

She always has.

Her tears.

They aren't the demonstration of her weakness; they are the proof of her greatest strength.

They are the perfect display of her fearless bravery facing the toughness of reality.

She may cry, but she will always find a solution for the problem. It may take her time, but she will find it. She's more stubborn than me. I'll give her for that.

"This is a journey of redemption for me. It has nothing to do with you."

I poked her forehead like Itachi always did with me. I was making her wait longer, but this time I would come back with a proper answer.

"I'll see you when I'm back."

I wanted to see the world my brother wanted me to see before giving her an answer. I don't want to hurt her anymore. All the suffering she has been through, it was because of me. While I was making the world pay for the suffering I was dwelling in, she forgave me simply with a smile for all wrongs I've done to her.

"… thank you."

The previous part I mumbled would have to wait. If she didn't catch it, good. If she did and was pretending she didn't hear it, great. If she didn't hear it altogether, even better. I would get more time to think about it on my own.

On that journey, I reflected on every piece of memory I could recall. I found out the reason why I've hated you so much and so profoundly. I found out what exactly made you this _annoying_.

I _hate_ you for being so giving, forgiving, and loving.

And I still do.

But I _love_ you for all that too.

So deeply and resiliently.

Your annoyance is what makes you the most beautiful woman I have ever known. Love and hate have a complicated relationship. As do we. Love is about compromise. We will now continue our path together as husband and wife, father and mother.

Thank you for teaching me love, Sakura.


End file.
